Dear God, thank You for Your further clarification of my issues. I would like to ask You another question, this time concerning my employment.
Currently I am faced with possible termination of employment if I don't cooperate with getting a Rubella (German measles) vaccine. I believe this vaccine to be more dangerous than the disease it's supposed to be protecting us against and I am terrified. I already (reluctantly) submitted to two TB tests as a condition for employment. To remain employed here I will also be required to get annual TB shots. I don't even work directly with patients; I'm in the finance department and not even in a hospital building. What to do, God?
Furthermore, should I even be working in the medical insurance field, since I don't even believe in it? I feel like a hypocrite. I enjoy the computer data entry part of the job, but definitely don't like hearing the names of diseases all day long.
And one more thing. To advance in my job, I have the opportunity to study medical terminology and medical coding. Here again I feel conflicted. I like memorizing and study, but how evolutionary can it be to memorize the names of diseases? Have You not suggested that disease is just an outpicturing of our fears?
What is the truth about this? Am I playing with fire? Should I quit, allow myself to get fired, or otherwise run for my life, or just enjoy it all, the ridiculous with the sublime, and stop worrying so much?
My dearest Annette, where does your happiness lie?
You have choices.
Follow your heart. How do you feel?
You are not in servitude. You have choices. You have more than one choice.
We are not talking about whim. We are not talking about a mere preference. We are not talking ego. We are talking about something fundamental to your heart.
You are not at the edge of a cliff where you have to denouce your beliefs or else you have to jump off.
The question is not really whether another innoculation is good or bad for you. The question is freedom. The question is to follow your heart or to dismiss it. What matters to you? That is the question.
This is not a question of right or wrong. It is a question of where you stand with yourself.
You are not trying to make a point. You are not grandstanding.
You have made this into a huge choice. What do you think is at stake?
If you honor yourself and leave, will you starve? Is this the only job in town? Is it even possible that there is something better out there for you? Is it possible that the crossroads you feel you are at is a great purifier of you?
You have to cast a vote, Annette. Which way do you cast it?
You have to live with yourself. You are the sayer of your life.
If you had a daughter and she were in the situation you find yourself in, how would you advise her?
You are not looking for plaudits from the world. You are not looking for that kind of honor. But you are looking to honor yourself.
You are considering selling yourself out. For what, My dearest Annette? For a few pieces of gold?
Consider Jesus truth and Judas a betrayer of truth, and Peter a deny-er of truth. The three exist within all My children.
You will not die from another innoculation, but something in you may die.
You have free will.
You are not an activist. You are not marshalling a cause. You are simply making a choice for your own destiny, My beloved.
Why is it so hard for you? That is My question.
Within your heart lie all the answers to your question.
You don't have to be different from everybody else, but you also don't have to be the same. You are not an outlaw. You are not a maverick. And you do not need to be imposed upon.
Acquiesce or leave. Listen to your heart or deny it. This is your decision to make. I will not make it for you.
My answer to you is slanted, Annette, I know. But know this: Whatever you decide, you have Me. Whatever you decide, My love is yours.
Be free to decide as you will. Please yourself.
Now, I will ask you one more question: Do you believe in Me, Annette?